“Please Tell Me…Please Don’t Tell Me”

Written by Chaney Weiner

It’s a situation you’re all too familiar with.

It occurs consistently throughout your life…usually every day in some way.

And the weird part…

You’ve been on “both sides of the fence” so to speak…and quite often at the
same moment.

What I’m referring to are those situations you find yourself in when you get “put on the spot.”

More specifically…

When someone asks to give you their opinion…such as when someone says, “Well how do I look today?”

And like I said a minute ago it works the other way as well…such as when you ask someone to give you their opinion…along with when someone comes right out (voluntarily) and tells you what you want to hear because they think it will hurt your feelings if they said what was really on their mind.

In any case…

It has to do with the same thing…being told the truth.

TruthParadoxAnd with it comes what I call the “Truth Paradox”…

Because it’s this Truth Paradox that quite often leaves you thinking, “Yes please tell me” and at the same time leaves you thinking, “Please don’t tell me.”

No matter how you look at it, the question you’re left with is, “Do I really want to hear the truth from someone or not?”

You know the saying, “Sometimes the truth hurts”…but does it really?

This leads back to what I just mentioned…

Do you really want to hear the truth from someone or not?


When someone asks you for their opinion…are you upfront and tell them the truth?

The reality of it all is…people don’t want to hear the truth and when they’re on the other end of it don’t tell the truth because they don’t want to be seen as a so called “negative” or “bad” person.

Of course there are many exceptions to this…

But take a look in your life and the different situations you’re in. What you’ll commonly see are people who want to “save face” and “keep the peace” but at the same time aren’t being upfront and truthful about it.

And let me say this…

Yes, there will be times when it can be a good idea to not come right out with it and be upfront…such as in different types of social settings.

When these moments come up, the wisest thing to do is to make mental note of them and possibly let those people know the truth at some point.

Now I can’t tell you what these moments are, when they’ll come up, and exactly how to go about them because they’re different for each person.

But what I am saying is that outside of these types of situations it is a wise idea to just tell people the truth…

And when you’re on the other end of it…to let people tell you the truth when it’s something about you.

InnerVoiceThe strange part about what I just said is…even when you tell someone to be “straight up” with you, you’ll still get some people who won’t. The reason is because some people just don’t want to feel “bad” or so called “negative.”

In these situations the wisest thing to do is to “trust your gut” and take into consideration the person and situation you’re dealing with.

When it’s the other way around…and you’re in that moment when you have the feeling of “Please tell me, please don’t tell me”…it’s wise to have them tell you.


No matter what you do you’ll have people liking and disliking you, praising and criticizing you, supporting and challenging you, being nice and mean along with kind and cruel to you…equally.

There’s no escaping this.


You may as well have “people tell you” rather than wondering and feeling uncertain.

Because the “gift” or as I like to say “blessings” that comes out of being told is that it’ll help you understand more of who you are…

And sometimes it takes other people telling you what may seem like the “harsh truth.”

AuthenticSelf1Yet, when you really think about it…instead of it seeming harsh at first…it’s one of the best ways to reveal your authenticity.

Now you may have the urge to get defensive or feel that what someone may say about you is “wrong”…and at times the person may very well be because they don’t have all the necessary facts and details.

But even if this is the case, by having people be straight up with you it will at least “test” your patience…and this is something that comes in handy somewhere down the road.

As for all of this getting you to understand more of who you are…it creates an “awareness thing” as I like to call it.

This is an awareness of you as a person. It gets you to see the two sides that make up the magnificence and brilliance of who you are, what you’re made of, and why you’re here.

And interestingly it has very much to do with appreciating others and what they say about you…even if you may not like it at first.

So, make it a point today (and every day) to appreciate others…

Because when you appreciate others for who they are (and the things they say about you), you turn into the person that appreciates yourself for who you are.


About the author

Chaney Weiner

Chaney Weiner is a Human Potential Specialist - Founder of the Chaney Institute of Human Potential - Creator of the Breakthrough To Achieve Program and Author of the book, Because This Is Your Life.

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