Career Mindset

How Much Are You In Control Of Your Life?

Written by Chaney Weiner

It’s one of those things that keeps you up at night.

And it involves those never ending questions…

How did this happen?How did I get to this point in my life?What can I do to get out of this?

…And along with this comes those other never ending thoughts that leave you very curious about something you’ve always wanted to do.

Before I talk about that consider this…

How much are you in control of your life?

Whether it’s your current career, family life, your physical health, your financial situation, or your overall state of mind…how much control do you have? (And when I say control I’m referring to you being truly fulfilled in any of these areas, along with the other areas of life most important to you?)


Are any of these areas controlling your life?

Because if they are controlling your life it can leave you feeling like you’re walking on a tightrope 1000 ft. above the ground…

Just as much as it can leave you feeling like you’re trying to jam on the brakes of your car at 50 miles per hour while driving on a sheet of ice.

It leaves you feeling out of control, helpless, and powerless.

Now of course something can be done for you to take control of your life so you can go from where you are now to where you want to be.

Before you’re able to do this it’s important to answer a very fundamental question.

whyWider1. Tell me why

Whenever you get into a situation, especially one that is controlling and affecting your life in ways you don’t want, the question that always comes up is, “why?”

“Why did this happen to me?”

And in order for you to go from where you are now to where you want to be in any area of your life, it starts by answering that “why” question…

Because unless you do, you’ll have a very high probability of repeating the same patterns over and over again…and in many cases attribute why your current situation is the way it is to something other than what it really is.

There are two strategies you can use here.

The first is to ask yourself if your expectations are realistic or unrealistic.

For example, if you’re expecting people and situations to be more one sided (more positive than negative) then you set yourself up for an unrealistic expectation.

Every situation and person has both sides equally. The idea here is to use both the positive and negative to help you in what you’re looking to achieve.

Many people want to get rid of negativity and negative thinking…why would you want to do that when it can help you in certain situations. How can it help you?

By getting you to set realistic expectations on yourself, others, and the world in general.

Another example of this is trying to live a happy life in an attempt to get rid of sadness and depression. This also sets you up for many of the situations you don’t want to be in that leaves you asking “why.”

And just like the negative thinking can be used to help you to set realistic expectations, so does the so called “depression.” And it also helps you to set realistic expectations on yourself, others, and the world in general.

Not only are these the sources of “why” we get into situations we don’t want to be in—but as strange as it also sounds—it’s the very way you can also use to answer that “why” question.

Because by doing this you start transforming from a fantasy seeker into a fulfillment driven person…which in turn begins the process of you going from where you are now to where you want to be.

TimeOnYourSideLarger2. Time is always on my side

The second strategy you can use to answer that “why” question involves that elusive and sometimes infamous 4 letter word…time.

How many times have you found yourself saying, “I don’t have enough time” or “There aren’t enough hours in the day” or “I couldn’t do what I wanted because I ran out of time doing other things?”

Let’s face it, we’ve all done this.

Now if you’re in a situation where you don’t want to be and feel like you’re not in control of your life (which usually leads to that “why” question again), then it’s wise to use this second strategy I promised you earlier.

And that is to ask…

“How do I spend my time?”

Because if you’re looking to change your current situation, whether it involves getting out of debt, improving your physical health, transitioning to a career that you’d love doing (and even figuring this out if you currently don’t know), or whatever it is for you, the question is, “How much time are you spending on this?”

Now I’m asking you, “How do you spend your time?”

Are you spending 4 hours a day watching TV or 4 hours a day learning about building your financial future?

Are you spending 4 hours a day surfing the internet mindlessly or spending 4 hours a day learning how to start (and build) a business doing something you love?

If you’re currently working a job you don’t like and commute 2 hours a day, how are you spending that time?

You get the idea.

This is incredibly important because when it comes to getting out of the situation you’re currently in (and even getting into it in the first place), knowing how you’re spending your time will give you a snapshot of where you are and how you can get to where you want to be.


Time is always on your side.

womanlettinggoLarger3. Just let yourself go

Earlier I mentioned those other never ending thoughts that leave you very curious about something you’ve always wanted to do. Let’s come back to that now.

And this too involves that “why” question but in a much different way. By answering this “why” question you’ll be able to just let yourself go into the world of what were once thought of as impossibilities.

You see, no matter what is going on in your life right now you have something of tremendous value to contribute to the world. And the best part about this is that it’s something you would love to do most.

It’s something that involves your purpose, your mission, your spiritual quest…

And carried out through the uniqueness of who you are.

And this is what also leaves you with those never ending thoughts of how you want your life to be. Those never ending thoughts that leaves you very curious about what it is that you’ve always wanted to do…

And those never ending thoughts of the new ideas and new ways of how you can go about doing what you love.

Now if by some chance you don’t know what those are yet, ask yourself that other “why” question I mentioned about a minute ago, and that is…

“Why do I want to have ___________?”

We all want the “how” but it’s the “why” that jump starts your life. It’s the “whys” that help you take control of your life.

And it’s the “whys” that helps you go from what seems like a “no way out” situation to living a fulfilled life while doing what you love and loving what you do (of course this also involves taking action).


When you have enough “whys” the “how’s” take care of themselves.

As a result you start coming up with the answers to the questions you at first couldn’t figure out

You come up with the new ways and ideas on how to go about living the type of life you’d love to live.

You start to attract the people and situations that help you along the way.

And in the process you realize how magnificent and special of a person you really are…

And in return the world treats you like the magnificent and amazing person you have always been.


About the author

Chaney Weiner

Chaney Weiner is a Human Potential Specialist - Founder of the Chaney Institute of Human Potential - Creator of the Breakthrough To Achieve Program and Author of the book, Because This Is Your Life.

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