It was a constant reminder day and night…
It didn’t matter either way.
And if you’ve been in this same situation in some way you know what the ritual is all about.
At first it seems like there’s no end in sight…
“I failed a lot in my past, years and years in fact…and to a point no one could possibly imagine.
I stopped caring about life, about myself, my dreams, my family, and my career.
I cannot even begin to express fairly what it feels like to fail over and over again, to live every day with the same turmoil of failing with yourself…not others.
It is with you all the time. It gets to the point where you find yourself talking yourself to sleep.
In fact it’s gotten to the point where failure has become a part of my life. It slowly became a numbing effect and has reached a point that I could no longer think and feel until I could no longer know what do do.
It was a bitter taste of self failure, the bitter taste and the feeling of, “I could have done better but I didn’t. I could have been there for others but wasn’t. I should have acted differently but didn’t.
I could have and should have tried to work harder but didn’t. It just finally reached a point where giving up was the only option left.”
Have you ever asked yourself why this is happening? And if you have what answers did you come up with?
Have you ever considered what may not be obvious as to why you would feel this way about your life?
Now there is something else happening here that is stopping you from living a fulfilled and freedom based life where you feel respected…while having an inner knowing that you truly make a difference in the world.
And this is something that you’d never expect that is keeping you stuck.
A part of it is comparing yourself to others…
But there’s something else that just about everyone overlooks…
1. Down side up
It may seem like at times that your world is upside down. It’s those situations where life seems like it has more negatives going on than positives. And this certainly occurs in varying degrees ranging from what seems like the “smallest of things” all the way up to life threatening situations.
And it is in what I just said that lies the often overlooked piece of what it is that you’d never expect that is keeping you stuck…
Despite the fact that most people are being told the opposite.
And what I’m referring to is…
Trying to live a positive life
…But it goes beyond that.
It’s comparing yourself to others, thinking that they’re living this one sided positive life….and then even possibly having them tell you that they’re living a one sided positive life (but they’re not)…and then beating yourself up when you’re not able to live that way.
Here’s one of many thousands of examples…
Let’s say you’re looking to lose weight. You want to have that great looking body. What happens?
You see the commercials. You see the before and after stories. You see the successes.
But what aren’t you seeing?
You’re not seeing that there’s another side to everything.
Not only that but this puts you in a one sided mindset. And guess what happens when the other side shows up?
You’ll feel like a failure because you’re comparing yourself to someone else who appears to be living a one sided, positive and “happy” life.
Even though I used a weight loss example here, you’ll see this happening in other areas outside of weight loss.
You’ll see it happening with personal development and self help gurus. You’ll see it happening with business coaches. You’ll see it happening in just about every industry you can think of.
And it comes down to the same thing time and time again…
Comparing yourself to someone else who you think is having a better deal in life, while also thinking they’re living a one sided, positive, happy, fantasy driven life.
And as a result you may perceive your world as being upside down. In this moment it is wise to look at your life as being down side up because it will help you get out of the situations you don’t want to currently be in…while starting you down the path to being in the situations you do want to be in.
2. Saving me from myself
Yes, it can be and is tempting—when you see others accomplishing what you want—to want to compare yourself to others. At first it seems like these “lucky” people are living the “life of their dreams.”
Now ask yourself this question…
“If I were to trade places with this person would I want what is currently going on in the other areas of their lives as well?”
…Because answering this will save you from yourself.
“Would I want to give up certain areas of my life that I’m currently satisfied with at the expense of what this other person has in their life that I want?”
Here’s an even more profound question to consider…
“Would this person that I envy and am comparing myself to (because they have what I want), would they actually be envy of me and want what I currently have?”
The bottom line is this…
No matter what you have currently going on in your life, you have equal amounts of support and challenge, pleasure and pain, safety and danger, and all the other pairs of opposites.
And the people you may be envying because they appear to have a better life than you…
They have equal amounts of these as well.
You have a different set of these supports and challenges, pleasures and pain, safeties and dangers than they have.
When you’re able to see this, you immediately transform your life. You’ll stop comparing yourself to others…
And you’ll start to realize your own unique magnificence.
3. Dream of mirrors
I mentioned a few moments ago about living the life of your dreams. It’s a phrase we’ve all heard millions of times by now. In fact it’s to the point that it’s so overused that most people don’t even pay attention to it any more.
Whether you call it “living the life of your dreams” or something else that resonates with you, just know that your ability to live this type of life comes down to this…
Are you doing what’s true to you (without comparing yourself to someone else)?
Are you realizing that no matter what you do that you’ll get both the positive and negative sides of it?
And this all begins by you taking a look in the mirror. But not just any ordinary mirror…
But rather a dream of mirrors.
Always remember this…
Whatever you see in others you have as well. This includes the niceness and the meanness, the honesty and dishonesty.
It also includes those things you think you don’t have—that you believe others have—but actually you do have.
Every person you come across in your life—whether you’ve ever met them or not— represents you in some way.
What sets you apart is your uniqueness. And the different forms in the way you express that which you see in others.
Nothing is ever missing in your life.
You already have it all. It’s just that you may not be fully recognizing it yet.
And if you’re admiring it in others…
If you believe others are amazing…
If you believe others are beautiful and special…
Then guess what?
The only way that you could possible see it that way, is if you see how amazing, beautiful, and special of a person you are too.