How Would You Prefer To Be Appreciated?

Written by Chaney Weiner

Is it possible for you to remember the same thing you quite often forget?

Yes it is…

And you do this many more times than you’d like to admit.

Not only that but this is something that can and does leave you feeling “down”…unless the complete opposite occurs. And as a result you start feeling “up.”

Now here’s what’s funny about this…

When it occurs in just the “right way” you realize something that is guaranteed to change your life to the way you want it.

And what this centers around is asking one all important question.

First think about this…

If you had only 24 hours left to live what would you do? Like every other human being you’d say “thank you” and “I love you” to those who have contributed to your life.

At times you may not be fully aware of this. However, at your true essence—and once you reflect on your life—you’ll see this to be true…

Along with the answer to that all important question I mentioned a minute ago.

And that question is…

How would you prefer to be appreciated?

Tag1. Tag…you’re it

Up until my teenage years I used to play tag with the other kids in my neighborhood. It was a fun game where a bunch of kids would pick someone to be “it” and then that person had to run after the other kids and “tag” one of them to be “it.” And then the cycle would start all over again.

When it comes to you being appreciated it works in a similar fashion.


It starts by realizing that appreciation makes up a part of the true meaning of gratitude. Thankfulness and grace are the other two parts of the TAG.

And each of these three parts are equally vital to one another.

In the game of “tag” when you’re “it” the other kids run away from you. It is your job to run after and tag the next person to be “it.”

In the game of life when you come from a place of being “it”…or as some may refer to as “I’ve arrived” and others refer to as being “cocky” or having an “ego” the same thing will have a tendency to happen…people will run away from you.

However, the difference in the game of life is that you don’t run after people and tag them to be “it”…

But rather take a deeper look at yourself and ask, “how would I prefer to be appreciated?”

And this begins by looking at your life—and life in general—from a different perspective…from a perspective that is designed to work for you.

BalancingAct2. The balancing act

There are two ways to look at life…from a one sided or two sided perspective. Most people look to live a one sided life of trying to be happy, positive, nice, kind, peaceful, and so on. These are certainly important. Just as equally important are the opposites of those…this forms the balancing act of life.

And the same thing is true when it comes to how you would prefer to be appreciated.

Earlier I mentioned about when “it” occurs in the “right way” that your life is guaranteed to change to the way you want it.

The “it” is having true appreciation.

The “right way” is seeing both sides of life equally.

Just know that seeing life as being two sided is one of the ways you would answer the question of “how would you prefer to be appreciated.” There’s another one I’ll get into in a few minutes.

When most people want to be appreciated they seek out the one sidedness—more support than challenge, more pleasure than pain, more giving than taking, more kind than cruel, more niceness than meanness.

That’s only half of the picture.

Being appreciated does involve the other half at times.

For example…

Let’s say you’re a parent and you give your child everything they want. In other words you rarely say “no” to them. At some point when you find yourself saying “no” to them they won’t listen. Some people refer to this as having “spoiled” your children.

When this happens you won’t be appreciated because you tried to follow the one sided approach.


The two sided approach where you would provide an equal balance of “yes” and “no.”

Those of you who are parents can certainly relate well to this.

In fact, this dynamic takes place in all interactions between human beings.

What it comes down to is…

The way you would prefer to be appreciated does involve an equal exchange of both sides. If you try the one sided approach you’ll always be reminded—and in ways you don’t want—that you’re not being appreciated in the way you want.

And this leads to the second way of answering, “how would I prefer to be appreciated.”

appreciated3. On your golden platter

Let’s now come back to remembering the same thing you quite often forget. And I’m sure you can see what that is. In case you don’t it’s being appreciated…

But the question again is…

“How would you prefer to be appreciated?”

What is so ironic is that the answer involves something that’s true to you but at the same time is the very thing you quite often forget.

And that is…

To be loved and appreciated for who you actually and authentically are…for your whole true self.

So, who are you?

What is your whole true self?

How do you know who you actually and authentically are?

It starts by being aware of whether you’re living a life of “should’s”, “have to’s”, “got to’s”, and “supposed to’s” while pretending to be who you really are

Or if you’re living a life of “I love to’s”, “I’m inspired to’s”, “I’m blessed to”, and “This is what I’ve always dreamed of” and being who you really are.


No matter what you do in life you’re going to have people liking and disliking you, supporting and challenging you, praising and criticizing you…equally. And the more you get of one, the more you’ll get of the other…

So you may as well be your actual and authentic self…Because this is when you’re appreciated in the way that you would prefer.

It still goes back to what I’ve said many times…

You never have to give up any of your self to be the special person you are…

While continuing to be the unique and magnificent person that you’ve been since the first day you came into this world.






About the author

Chaney Weiner

Chaney Weiner is a Human Potential Specialist - Founder of the Chaney Institute of Human Potential - Creator of the Breakthrough To Achieve Program and Author of the book, Because This Is Your Life.

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